I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
