He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm having to shit out rocks
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