Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
