Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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