cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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