i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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