tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
