Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
