We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize