I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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