Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
