i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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