i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
