Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
