She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
