Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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