For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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