i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
