3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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