So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
