The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
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On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
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I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The power of my boobs compel you
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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