You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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