At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
