He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
