He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I need help removing her.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
