i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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