Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
