I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Sext me about skeletons
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
