im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
