I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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