Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
