my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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