you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize