I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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