So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
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you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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