I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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