How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
