what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
