There is no way he is gay with that hair.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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