I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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