it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Everclear isn't food dammit
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
