Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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