I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
