Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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