end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just pynch a tree in the face
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize