i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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