I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
