White coat. Heels.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
