I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
