Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
