I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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