that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
