I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
