The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
