her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
