I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize